Once again I feel myself kicking at the mental walls of life.
I seem to have had a run in with a few people this last week of different back grounds, that are so very conflicting. And when I sit back and try to look at it from a different perpsective, it just brings my own life into such stark relief.
I am not a rich man, I do want to be sometimes. Like the rich man I work for, who not only owns two houses in the city where we live and work, but also owns one in another country.
He also owns one half of a world renowned company. But it seems that he cares for very little in life. He shows no real interest in the running of his company, and he shows an almost over interest in his house abroad. This leads to neglect where it matters most, being able to
put bread on the table, so to speak. His seems to care for nothing except his next trip abroad. He is so self absorbed in this that the business is suffering.
And then there is another man, who has nothing, quite literally. He lived in a run down caravan parked on the street in the light industrial area outside the company I work for. He was dirty and smelly and was not highly regarded at all by the people working in that street, me included.
One day, out of the blue, he confronts me on my way home. Yelling and screaming like I had done something terrible to him, yet I had not given him any of my attention in any way.
It later turns out that someone else had kicked him during a confrontation just minutes before, and he now thought that I was on my way to do the same to him.
I left it at shouting back that I was simply on my way home and that he better feel sorry for his yelling at me like that.
Later it strikes me that the rich boss I have and the poor bloke outside on the pavement are both incredibly self absorbed. The one cares for nothing and as a result other people are working to breaking point to clean up his messes and keep his company in business.
And the other, in a very similar way, cares nothing as well. As he flaunts the law in living where he does and how he does, and he sees simple passers by as enemy out to harm him. But he is ever so quick to beg money and claim he has no income to support himself and therefore needs others to support him. Both are capable men and can live their own lives, but somehow get away with the fact that other people are looking after them while they get to do as they like.
My life appears so different in contrast. I wish I had no responsibilities like the poor man, but with the resources of the rich man. Nearly every man on earth wishes that, but life cannot be like that. What I do live for and strive for is to simply be financially independant, to have my own house in which I can raise my own family. To care for and nurture my wife and future children, make memories and live through life together. But so many times people like the two above examples have taken that away from me, in different ways.
All I can say for myself is that I do not want to be like the men with nothing and everything, I want to work for what I have and keep it and look after it.